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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As of last week I would have told you that we had an amazingly strong marriage, but DH recently told me that he’s been unhappy for a long time and wants to go to counseling. We have been married for 15 years and I thought we were a team, parenting, sex 3-4 times a week, lots of loving language and affection.

I feel devastated that he has been holding on to resentment for so long without saying anything.[b] I definitely didn’t think things were perfect[/b] but to hear him tell it we were heading towards divorce- and I had no idea. I feel stupid and sad. He also can’t be specific about what resentment he has towards me, so it’s not like I can even start to make changes.

I know the answer is to at least try counseling but has anyone else gone through this? I am really struggling with the fact that he held on to these feelings for so long, I feel betrayed and upset.[/quote]

First, let me say that I am so sorry. I can't imagine how you must feel right now.

What did you think wasn't perfect? Just wondering if it was things that you were willing to look past that he couldn't? Not trying to blame you or anything, just trying to help you figure this out so hopefully you can get to the root cause and emerge from this in a stronger place. [/quote]

Thank you. I am feeling really broken right now.

We both work and have small kids, one of whom has complex medical needs. So there are definitely challenges with time, balancing all of the responsibilities we both have. Little fights like who is taking on more, etc. I don’t love that but thought it was fairly normal and this has been a particularly hard stretch in terms of obligations. At the end of the day I still thought of us as a team, and he says that he just has a lot of resentment.

It’s not an affair, we both WFH and I have open access to all his devices (as he does for me). Maybe like PPs said some sort of midlife crisis.

I never thought of him as a prop, like I said I always thought we were a team. I’m just sad to hear he’s been feeling like this for so long without saying anything. I feel heartbroken.[/quote]

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