Reply to Next steps for elderly relative showing signs of mental decline

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP: here’s what the elderly parents should NOT do:

“Wing it” or “decide when that time comes”… to plan/move/make decisions/have an Advanced Medical Directive/Durable Power of Attorney/DNR order/Will/Trust/Burial/Funeral Plans etc. Claim repeatedly that these are uncomfortable conversations and…

Assume your adult DC will “be able to help” (with transportation, med reminders, filing your taxes, do your banking, general house maintenance, etc.) and therefore defer critical decisions

Dismiss any and all suggestions to de-clutter

Make grand pronouncements that you will never leave current home, or ask your adult DC to pledge NEVER to “put you away”

Assume that you can simply “age in place” without making ANY changes or adjustments

Bank 100k and earmark this for “elder care” with the idea that you’ll hire an aide to come over for a couple of hours every once in a while to help you with…stuff.

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This has been the approach of my mother and its chaotic, draining and a financial burden on those remaining. Add to all the guilt for removing her from her home, making health decisions that were in her best interest but she blames us for making. I really do wish this stage of live could be better managed earlier on and there were better options for our elders. [/quote]

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