Reply to Would you be mad/irritated if your spouse did this?

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[quote=Anonymous]
Mad, no; irritated, yeah probably, if it was not an emergency. But there are a lot of people who will do for friends or extended family what they put off and put off in their own homes. That doesn't make it right or sensible, but it's a reality. Irksome. But do you and he have a clear and written schedule of the maintenance you both want dont on your home? If you don't, then do that now. If you've been hoping he'd just notice things, well, stop the hoping. Tell him that the friend's deferred maintenance made you see that you both need to get your act together re: your own home. Be concrete and specific, as in, "This Saturday we'll hang the blinds that have been sitting in the garage, get it done by 2, then take the kids to..." or whatever. If you can do it together when the kids are out at activities, or if they're young, if you can get someone to watch them, that's even better.

The larger issue is that you're resenting his not  being much help with kids or the house lately. And that's totally understandable frustration. But do not let it fester and spill into everything else in life or this will balloon. Make a list, schedule the tasks with him, talk it up as making everyone's lives easier. I'd avoid a "honey do" list, though; be sure you both have roles -- which could include his doing stuff with/for the kids while you tackle a maintenance chore. [/quote]

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