Reply to Never can say "I told you so"?? Really?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Bottom line: when I suggest something he fights it tooth and nail with no convincingly good reasons. It’s like an automatic response. Why? Why does it have to be this way? It really doesn’t. I’m trying so hard to be understanding but when you can clearly see the other person just wants to be "right" no matter what it’s difficult to be the bigger person.[/quote]

My husband used to be like this often and I HATED it. Eventually I abandoned trying to discuss things in terms of logic. Decisions made by emotion are rarely changed with logic. This lead to my being more persuasive, but also it lead to him being more contrite when we had a discussion about how I felt dismissed and like my opinion was unimportant when he immediately dismissed so many of my ideas with a no. I told him that even if he wasn't trying to dismiss my feelings or that I shouldn't feel that way, I did feel that way, and he needed to stop doing it. I was basically just more of a b**** and stopped sacrificing my emotional well-being for his.

I suppose this means I was the bigger person in terms of making the effort to solve the issue instead of being reactionary or convincing myself it didn't matter. I always suppressed my impulse to say "I told you so" because I knew those words wouldn't be helpful. Those words often do hurt someone's feelings. But it was definitely freeing to believe that my feelings mattered and insist that he not dismiss them. [/quote]

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