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[quote=Anonymous]We learned recently that my DH has ADHD. (We have a child who has it, and through marriage counseling, identified it may be something DH has. He got evaluated and yes, has it.)

He started taking medication, which helps. But frankly, after almost 20 years of marriage I feel like I have some form of PTSD due to the wear and tear of having an ADHD spouse and ADHD child in the house. (DC is early teens, diagnosed 2 years ago).

I'm finding I just don't have the energy, interest or desire to continue navigating this with DH. We are still seeing a therapist occasionally, but I need some significant forward momentum at this point to carry on. We had an incident this weekend that harkened back to the non-medicated days, but DH didn't tell me he didn't take his meds until late the following day. I spent nearly a day and a half stressed and angry and hurt over this incident. It was a trigger for all the similar incidents in the past just like that (he can be horribly mean to strangers when he is unhappy about something). And no, this wasn't an issue until after we got married.

I don't really want to divorce, but I need some ideas about how to "do" marriage in this situation. I've been reading and everything talks about self-care, therapy. I feel like I do enough of that. Things are markedly better when he is on meds, but they wear off later in the day so there is still unpredictability. I feel like I have nothing left in the tank.

Has anyone found success in this situation? What do you do differently now that you know your spouse has ADHD?  [/quote]

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