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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not going to lie -- being an empty nester is great. I'm 52 and have earned this time.

I don't understand the people who say they're "sad." This is exactly what's supposed to happen -- you raise your children right and they go into the world and you get your time back. But it's up to YOU to make that time of it what you will. Pining for your children is just kind of pathetic.

That doesn't help OP, though. I don't know what to tell you, OP, since you don't want to be told you knew what you were getting into. I might have said we envied you when you were still unencumbered in your 30s, but it sounds like maybe you have big age gaps in children.

The one thing I CAN say is don't make your children the center of your life -- that is a HUGE mistake. Make your spousal relationship the center. And make sure the kids know they come second to that. And be sure to nurture your own interests. It's not clear to me why you have to defer your passion until your kid is in college.[/quote]

What you're missing, PP, is that everyone is different. Some people love their children way more than their spouses. Some of us love spending time with our children, and miss them when they're gone. It's not like we can just snap our brains out of our skulls and exchange it for another that magically makes us not think like this! I mean, this is why we had kids in the first place! Not because it's what society expected of us, but because we love children, and wanted our own! And we all understand that after a while, it will be the new normal to be kid-free and just see our adult children occasionally. We will make a new life and it will be happy. But please don't scoff when child-centric parents take a little time to mourn their old child-centric life.

So you want to keep the judgment toned down.

[/quote]

No, I don't think I will. You need to hear this hard truth because your selfish outlook on this will cripple your children if you're not careful.

Making the children the focus of the family is a terrible model and often leads to divorce.

So, no, I won't "tone down" the judgment. Because I'm right. That's just all there is to it.[/quote]

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