Reply to Withholding Alzheimer’s Diagnosis from the Patient

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a nurse, I engage in therapeutic lies all the time with Alzheimer's and dementia patients.  But this is not what that is.  It sounds like she still is pretty early on in her diagnosis.  The beginning stages of memory loss is often quite scary.  You're aware enough to know you're losing your mind. It's cruel to withhold the diagnosis from her.

Does your FIL even get what the future looks like?  How heartbreaking it is to see your loved one lose all memory of who they are and who their loved ones are?   To lose the basic ability to use the bathroom, bathe themselves, communicate, remember to eat and drink, etc.  I'm a fairly big supporter of physician assisted suicide after what I've witnessed in my career.  [/quote]

This right here. A therapeutic lie is not what this is at all. I can't believe a doctor would even go along with withholding a diagnosis from a patient who isn't too far gone, cognitively.

My dad has dementia. Therapeutic lies are not this at all. They are small lies to help not upset the person. For example, my dad doesn't remember that his favorite uncle has passed. When he wants to call him, I silence my cell and dial it from our landline. I tell my dad his uncle is out/napping/etc and have him leave a message. If he does remember later about the call, I say something like "yes, you did call Uncle Mitch. You talked about your garden this year." And he'll usually go "oh, that's right! I did talk to him." I don't say he talked TO my Uncle. I tell him he called him and talked about ___. Small lies.

Sometimes he'll wake up and think it's his birthday. We roll with it. We tell him happy birthday and have him select a special meal for the day. We get him a cupcake treat or some donuts, which are his favorite. No harm, no foul. And really, once you reach 75, why not celebrate all that time?  :lol: [/quote]

Exactly this!   I remember when I first started my career my preceptor was explaining therapeutic lies.   She said "why would you upset someone reminding them that their wife passed away so that they can sit and mourn for however long they remember, then the stop remembering and are happy again, only for you to come back the next day and remind them of their loss.  It's a horrible groundhog's day.  ".

I love that you celebrate your dad's Birthday whenever he thinks it is his. It's such a small thing but makes a huge difference [/quote]

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