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[quote=Anonymous]ADHD is primarily a condition marked by dysregulation, including emotional dysregulation. My 8 year old DD was diagnosed last year and that's her primary symptom. She gets "big feelings" and has a very hard time managing them. She mostly becomes argumentative and obstinate and will yell and stomp her feet. She occasionally cries or throws a book or toy on the floor.

Some things that have worked for us so far:

--Medication. DD is able to calm herself down and use the tools she's learned to manage her feelings MUCH BETTER when she's on her meds. She still gets frustrated or upset, but she's much more rational and in control.

--DH and I have to stay calm in the storm. It gets worse when we react to DD's dysregulation. We acknowledge her feelings, give her options if possible, and explain why we can't let her say hurtful things/throw books/etc. It requires a huge amount of patience--more than I have at times. Sometimes I have to step away and calm myself down before I can respond to the situation. I think it helps my DD to see me calm myself down. It reinforces the tools she's learned (breathing exercises, stepping away to cool off) and that it's normal and ok to have these feelings.

--When she's calm, we talk to her about how she was feeling and what to do about it. Most of the time her anger or frustration is really something else--feeling left out, feeling embarrassed that she lost the game, feeling shame because she made a mistake. So we talk it through and identify what was actually going on, emphasizing that it's normal to feel that way, and what she can do the next time she feels that way.

--Sleep is critical. She needs a consistent 8-9 hours. We have a consistent bedtime and routine.

--We limit screen time. No screens during the week. On weekends, we try to limit screens to 30 minutes at a time. Anything more than 30 minutes at a stretch causes her to get cranky, disagreeable, and argumentative. So we just break it up by doing other things throughout the day.

--How to Train Your Angry Dragon is a book that might help. My DD liked it a lot.

--Keep an eye on whether food/hunger plays a role. My DD doesn't seem to be as affected when she's hungry (unlike me and our other child) but keep an eye out to see if this is a factor for your child.

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