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Eldercare
Reply to "clearing out parents' house with fighting siblings"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Both parents have died, and surviving siblings are fighting. Executor is indecisive and not taking charge. We need to clean out parents' house in 2 weeks (arbitrary deadline set by real estate agent). The death was fairly sudden so the house is filled with items that could be useful for people in need, and there are also valuable items such as silver and collectables. I came from out of town to gather things, and no one else showed up at the house, and the executor (worried about more fighting) instructed me as I arrived not to take anything from it except for pictures of myself and things that I gave my parents. So my visit felt less productive than I had hoped. I wanted to spend more time in the house, as I found important parts of family history such as letters that I probably care more about than others. My sister told me that they're going to hire a service to clean out the house. I am guessing everything will go in the landfill and that the people working for the service will keep valuable items for themselves. I recognize we can't spend time going through everything, [b]but the direction we're taking will not honor our parents, be wasteful, and also we'll lose parts of our family history. [/b] I do not have a position of power in the family due to disagreements over caregiving. Are there any services who can help a family go through parents' house and package items for donation so we can at least help others, hold on to important pieces of family history, and minimize unnecessary waste? Any advice from those who have been through this would be helpful. I don't need these things financially and I don't have much room for them, but I also value history and the earth, so the dumpster approach doesn't feel right. On the other hand, I don't wish to cause or engage in conflict with siblings, so maybe I need to just let it go.[/quote] OP - If you, yourself, don't want their stuff, let it go. The idea that you can place their things with the perfect benefactor is naive. There isn't a big market for old people's stuff - even the china and other "valuables." You can honor your parents in other ways. If I were you, I would be focused on the "history" piece and ask your siblings if you could collect historical papers and store them for posterity. If you agree that they can have access to them, this seems very reasonable and like a service to the group. Otherwise, let it go. [/quote]
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