Reply to Cousin dating someone who is brown/black and from a different social class and I want to make sure he feels comfortable

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[quote=Anonymous]My cousin's new wife made wisecrack about it not being easy to be the dumb ones in the family and it went a touch past wry.  They work in the restaurant business and all the rest of us have BAs and most grad degrees.

We cannot fix their intellectual insecurity.  Nor is it easy to find common topics of discussion.  I think it's best to keep things light and breezy...watching movies together, playing games, making meals, etc.  My cousin elected to be a college dropout - it's not an issue of finances or other bad luck.  No idea of the wife's background beyond a sense that her family is LMC.

I recommend avoiding humblebragging, no talking about academically-achieving kids, real estate, stock market, luxury cars, etc.  Basically topics you'd see on DCUM.

I also gave them a nice cash wedding gift, traveled to the wedding, and sent a little follow-up joke gift along with a registry item in hopes that she'd realize I want to be considered a "nice cousin".

Finally, even if he's just awkwardly watching, he will undoubtedly be debriefing with his gf, and she should guide him on how to fit in and be comfortable as time goes on.
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