Reply to Cousin dating someone who is brown/black and from a different social class and I want to make sure he feels comfortable

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[quote=Anonymous]We’re lucky to have a pretty geographically and emotionally tight family, so I see my aunt and (grown) cousins pretty frequently. My 25yo cousin is dating a Latino guy who is an associate at a big box retailer. Our family is first generation from Europe and the Middle East. We’re a mix of folks who are white-ish. Some people are white and some are middle eastern w one white/Western European parent. We all went to college or have our masters and live in a HCOL area where we live comfortably and travel and talk about new restaurants or whatever, but walk into any area of upper NW and listen in and that’s (in broad strokes) who we are.

My cousins boyfriend is soooo quiet around us and timid and just seems really like a duck out of water. Once I got him going at a family wedding and he relaxed and had fun, but still I mean this guy was at a tent wedding in Newport looking around like wtf.

He’s been around for a while and you just have to take my word that we are totally inclusive and accepting of him—lots of big hugs when he walks in, assuming he’s added to the guest list of any hang, etc etc. But he still feels so shy around us and I get why.

Has anyone been him before and have advice for me on behavior or ideas of how I might double down on helping him feeling comfortable? I’m 20 years older then the kid, I mean I’m not his bestie, but pretty sure he’s here for the long haul and I’m committing to do my part to make sure that I’m making him feel accepted and included. What helped you when you were in this situation?[/quote]

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