Reply to Where to get help? I am running out of money, taking care of my mom.

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[quote=Anonymous]I am a sandwich generation caregiver with my own family and three kids and husband I have been financially helping my mom for 14 years because she was a full-time homemaker and after my parents divorced, my dad died and she got nothing. Several years ago I bought my mom a condo which we recently had to sell after she took an unfortunate fall and ended up in a nursing rehab facility, and I had to move her from a different state over to Maryland.I ended up relocating her nearby, I employee a private caregiver 40 hours a week in a home care model because the nursing facility she was in was negligent and I am currently thinking about suing them.

I took a significant amount of money out of my savings to help my mom. I don’t regret doing it, but I am alarmed at the amount of money I’m spending months helping her. I am burning through my savings and I probably can manage this for one or two more years before my money runs out. I am 12 years from retirement and terrified. I will have nothing after all of this. But I can’t abandon my mom and I don’t know what to do.

She is currently living in a small condo that I purchased for her use. She gets a small amount of Social Security money. I pay for everything, including the mortgage and bills. And the caregiver.

I do not have siblings or family members to help so this is all falling on me. Mom could live another two years or another 20 years, I have no idea. I want to make sure she is taking care of.

I don’t know the process for getting my mom Medicaid. I have researched some things and everything is very contradictory. Why do we have to make our parents totally destitute before they qualify? It seems so wrong. I don’t want to be homeless Either, and I am watching the money fly out of my accounts at an eye watering pace. I still have a daughter to pay for college and private school and Ieither, and I am watching the money fly out of my accounts at an eye watering pace. I still have a daughter to pay for college and private school and I am just short of panicking.

I am scared of contacting an attorney because I don’t want to get taken for a ride with fees. How do I find somebody trustworthy? I need solid advice, but I don’t know who to trust. Can someone recommend a nonprofit or other independent organization that has helped you avoid being taken for a ride?

I’m currently spending my daughters college money on my mom’s final years of care and it doesn’t seem fair.

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