Reply to 3.5 yo tantrums

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[quote=Anonymous]I have an almost 4 year old son that is like this.  It is SO hard, so I get it.  I will say I think he is maybe getting slightly better so there is hope.

You will have to ask yourself: is he going on tantruming because he has lost control and can't stop, or is he doing it to be strong willed? Figure out what helps him calm down.  He might not be ready to do his calm down routine at the time you want him to but know how to help him get off the ramp when he is ready.  It could be a hug, or it could be the really weird routine my son does.

Leaving the room also did not work for us.  He would follow me out and nothing could ever keep him in his room (trust me, I tried everything).  What works better for my son is for me to sit in his room with my back to the door so that he cannot get out.  I won't really engage with him while he is in full tantrum mode.  He screams and kicks and thrashes about.  If he kicks or hits me, I pin down his arms/legs, which he hates.  After several iterations of this, there is usually either a lull and I offer him his off ramp.  Sometimes he chooses to take it and calm down, other times he gets angrier and we repeat the dance until he lulls again and I offer the off ramp.  Just don't take it personally.  Once tantrum does end, go back to normal and don't hold a grudge against him.  There is nothing wrong with him and nothing wrong with you.  Your job is to set the boundaries for him and it's his right to react. [/quote]

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