Reply to WWYD exH wants to get back together

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[quote=Anonymous]
So you'd have to move -- that means the kids would move, too? I'm not clear on where they are. It sounds as if you and the ex are in areas fairly far apart geographically.

I would not move to him if the kids are doing OK in school where they are; I would absolutely not uproot them and have them change schools, lose friendships etc., just because ex wants you back. What does he say re: the kids, uprooting them, etc.? I'm wondering if he's giving any consideration to the kids and their day to day lives, support system of friends and teachers and activities, etc. Remember, kids might lose not only school and school friends, but also their sports or extracurricular activities, church, whatever they do outside school. And their ages are tough --one is about to start high school fairly soon and you do not want distraction and any social issues during HS years, when stability helps with good grades, and grades really do count for things like getting into college or other post-HS programs.

Your kids already had to adjust to their parents' split; don't give them the whiplash of getting back together in a way that yanks them away from their current stability.

If the ex truly thinks he still loves you this much, and he is at all sensitive to the kids' needs, he can be the one to move to where you are; set up his own separate household there; and date you again, but not move in or make the kids move to a new family home and new school district, even locally. Yeah, I said it: He can come back and date you where you and the kids live, if he's actually that much in love. I'm wagering he won't do it. Just tell him nope, you've moved on and the kids are not going anywhere. [/quote]

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