Reply to Help: 14 years boy told mom he is a gay.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I noticed that you report he didn't actually express an attraction to boys, rather than he's more comfortable with girls. And then you mention that girls have set him up with a "boyfriend."

Lot to unpack here. He could very well be gay. But simply preferring the (platonic) company of girls at this age doesn't necessarily mean he's sexually attracted to boys. It could just be he's asexual, which at 14 would be slightly unusual but hardly developmentally inappropriate -- he may develop sexual interests later.

The bigger thing is the mention of the girls' involvement in this. That they "shipped" him suggests they're influencing his thinking in some ways. And girls in particular are really big in this generation on making declarations various sexual identities that weren't commonly announced 30 or 40 years ago when many of us were that age. THEY'RE the ones who are "trying on identities" and I could see some of them pushing that on others, especially if he's preferring their company.

He very well may be gay. But honestly, at 14 it's all "practice" anyway. The only thing you can control is your reaction. And the only appropriate reaction is to be supportive, avoid overreacting to things that you might not like or might scare you. Because in all likelihood, he'll be all over the place as he seeks his identity (which is more than just sexual preference).[/quote]

All excellent points![/quote]

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