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[quote=Anonymous]My DH was like this and the doctor diagnosed him as depressed and prescribed medication, which sat on the counter unused until they expired. He was unwilling to have any sort of conversation about it. I don't understand why he even agreed to the appointment or filled the medication if he was going to act like it never happened.

DH's family of origin has a ton of hangups about mental health, medication, and engagement with life. Unfortunately I think he's inherited all of those traits and he feels happier and more secure when he lives separately and as a cynical, distant observer of life. He feels scared and unsettled when he's taking the risks of participating in life and putting his hopes and vulnerabilities out there. If he invests in the world and relationships, then he risks rejection, hurt, pain, discomfort, awkwardness, etc. If he just watches and criticizes, he can be comfortable. I see my husband chase anger as a way to re-energize himself, presumably because he's unconsciously seeking a cortisol rush. It's a messed up but effective learned coping mechanism.

Maybe your DH has a similar background and feels most comfortable when he's in porcupine mode.[/quote]

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