Reply to Everything I do is “spoiling” according to my mother

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[quote=Anonymous]Why? She did quite literally the exact same things with my siblings and me and yet we somehow managed to graduate high school, college, hold down gainful employment, have never been arrested, etc.

The last two most recent:

This past weekend we had an unexpected SUPER late night on Saturday. Our kids were exhausted when they finally went to bed, but I had planned to let them sleep in a bit on Sunday but our neighbor’s early morning construction project squashed that plan. So last night I got everyone ready for bed REALLY early, and planned to keep the house quiet so they could sleep. Right before this my mom called and wanted to talk, and I apologized and told her that I’d have to call her tomorrow, explaining the above. She told me that I “spoil” them and that’s what I can’t talk after they go to bed.

The other, we were out shopping Mother’s Day. My DD tried on a pair of shorts for $20. She liked them but told me she liked another pair she already had better, could she get them in a different color instead. So we did. And they were $10 more. My mom said this was “spoiling” her, she should be happy for any shorts. I thought, why waste $20 on shorts she doesn’t like as much when the pair she does are only $10 more?

She throws this at me CONSTANTLY, and I can’t figure out why she’s so strangely threatened by these things. My kids are good kids, and I’m happy to provide them “wants” when I can. I’m also always going to give them a comfortable and safe place to LIVE! Sorry, mom, that you don’t always come first? I guess?

Why does she do this and why do I let it bother me when I know it’s irrational? [/quote]

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