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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ds has been very very tough for almost two years now: He is profoundly selfish, self-focused, pretty much rejects any attempt by dh especially to spend time with him. He does tell me a lot, from school stuff to girlfriend stuff, but it's really always about him, when he feels like sharing or needs help and advice. He spends as little time at home as he can, has his sport, gym, friends and family comes absolute last on his list. He's a good student, he's not rude per se (will say thanks for dinner, got me a nice mother's day gift without anyone telling him to, apologized the other day for something), but just feels so far away and preoccupied with his life and just tends to have a flippant tone, almost like he thinks he knows better and we're just annoying old boring folks. Does it ever change or is he like this forever?[/quote]

Honestly, he sounds fine.  He's just starting to become an adult and trying to be more self sufficient, I'd guess.  It's part of growing up.  As long as he is not rude or hurtful, you have to let them go and grow.  They do come back around to wanting to be with and around family in my experience.

--mom of 24 yr old DS who is back home with FT job and saving money after college[/quote]

It's a general dismissive attitude and lack of care about how we feel more than him trying to be hurtful. Dh especially is hurt by it. He and ds used to be very close, do so much together. Now ds wants nothing to do with him. At some point he said not to come to his games at all (he has come around on that eventually). I guess I am wondering if it's him being hurtful, or us expecting too much out of the relationship, or too little and then he gets worse? It's tough because we can't force him to care about us.[/quote]

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