Reply to Does anyone live in a community that is “too much” socially?

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[quote=Anonymous]This sounds hellish, OP. I could not do it and would wind up being the standoffish family that everyone complains never participates.

I once worked at a place that was like this -- just incessant social events (both planned and ad hoc) and a ton of pressure to participate no matter what. I remember getting a hard time for going on vacation or having plans with friends outside that job, like "how dare you have a life outside of this community." It was cult-y and stressful, especially because it felt like there would be professional consequences for not giving into the pressure to participate. It was also a very gossipy environment which made it feel worse because I'd worry that if I didn't go to things, people would start to talk about me behind my back and I wouldn't know. It was a very stressful experience.

I would think in a neighborhood there wouldn't be quite so much pressure as there would be in a workplace, but I know with kids that's not always true -- you don't want your kid to be the odd one out just because you don't feel like attending a neighborhood party or something.

I don't know what the solution is. I left that job and it was such a relief not to have to deal with that environment anymore. I think it reflects weird insecurities and codependencies, this need to constantly be spending all your time with other people and to be so judgmental and resentful of anyone who doesn't participate. It does not seem healthy.[/quote]

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