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[quote=Anonymous]I am American, my husband is European.  Since early in our relationship, it has been clear that we have very different (cultural) attitudes towards houseguests.  I need a lot of privacy and control over my environment, otherwise I get grouchy, tired, and resentful.  His approach is an open door policy.  We have fought for many years about his relatives coming to visit for what feels like too long to me.  Example:  when we were first married and living in a one-room English basement apartment, his parents came to stay for around ten days *in the same room with us*.  Drove me nuts, but he was delighted they were there.

His mother just "asked" if she can come stay with us for 3 weeks this fall.  We now live in a house, so there is plenty of room, but I still know myself and know that that length visit is way too long for me (and disruptive to the routines of our two young children).  I have clearly stated in the past that 2 weeks is my outside limit for remaining a cheerful host, not only for my MIL but for anyone.  My husband wants me to tell his mother it is too long (which I refuse to do, because she is his mother and I don't think it is fair to make me the bitch--yet again).

How to handle this?  The real problem is that the visit is not too long for him, so I have to be the bad guy denying him time with his mother, her time with her grandchildren, etc.  To muddy the waters further, he had earlier today suggested having dinner guests tomorrow and I had nixed the idea saying I just wanted a quiet evening at home with just us and the kids, our first since returning from summer vacation, kids starting school, etc.  He flung this back at me in the discussion about his mother, saying I'm always saying no to hosting everyone he likes.  We frequently entertain (which I welcome), so that felt unfair to me.

OK, done with vent and would really like some advice and perspective on the MIL proposed extended stay.[/quote]

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