Reply to Are these comments typical for the age, or is my DD a jerk?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 7yo DD's teacher said that she has made some comments at school, and she'd like me to follow up at home. I am doing that, but would also like DCUM's take on whether DD's meanness is out of the norm?

Examples

They draw or write about what they plan to do on the weekend. DD told her tablemate, who had drawn a blob, that her drawing "isn't that cool." DD also said a classmate said something similar about someone else's Friday diary before (The classmate had said something like "Your picture isn't very good" and the teacher said that was just her opinion, so DD said she thought it was ok to critique too).

The kids are instructed to play "PE rules only" for recess 4 square. Teacher said DD accused kids of cheating and was mad at being out. I don't know how the PE rules are different, but according to DD a couple kids were playing regular rules and that's why DD said they were cheating.

Another example is that she plays in a soccer league with lots of kids in her grade, and she (along with a couple other classmates) were talking to each other "You guys are going DOWN! Your team isn't as good as mine! We are really good! I kicked in 2 goals on Saturday."

I fully admit that DD can be rigid and a stickler for rules. She can also be braggy in situations like when lots of soccer players are around and she wants to boast about her team. We are working on those things. Of course DD shouldn't be volunteering comments that aren't nice, and she certainly doesn't need to be refereeing recess. But... isn't stuff like this expected for 6 and 7 year olds? I hear kids talking trash and being silly all the time. Naturally I haven't said any of this to DD and just instructed her to be kind, that if she doesn't have anything to say to say nothing, and that she is not the teacher/ref/rulekeeper. And if she can't get it together, there will be more consequences at home, like pulling her out of soccer if that's making her too competitive and unkind. But I also recall growing up... MUCH worse things were said to me and nothing ever happened. [/quote]

You are looking for reassurance from people who a) don’t know your kid and b) who are only given “your side of the story.”  The teacher knows your kid and sees them in a different environment (away from you and without rose colored parenting glasses). She  has told you your child needs support at home for her behavior. Teachers know normal behavior for children (more so than you do - it’s literally their job) and let a lot of behaviors slide. If the teacher tells you there is a problem, I wonder why you doubt them? It’s classic behavior of a parent of a mean kid. Always making excuses for their kid instead of addressing their kid’s problems. [/quote]

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