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Reply to "Is it too late for me to ever feel taken care of?"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for the kind responses. I was recently in therapy again, kind of with this in mind. But as you say, fit is important. I liked my therapist, but it hasn't felt like the best fit and I'm taking a break from it. I'm not sure whether to go back to her or try to find someone else. It's nice to have a set time to talk to someone about what is going on with me periodically, but I did not feel like this particular person was the right person to talk to. I don't know. I am very wary of trying to turn any of my kids into caregivers. I do feel like we have great relationships and they definitely care about me as a person. But due to my background, I never want my kids to feel like it is their job to make me feel good or take care of me. They often DO make me feel good just by being their delightful selves, but both my parents at various points tried to make me their emotional support when I was a child. Even as an adult, my parents used to come to me as though I was their parent, to listen to their problems and offer them guidance and support, until I finally set better boundaries with them. With my kids I insist on mutual respect and I do talk about our family taking care of each other. But I do not want them to feel like they need to take care of me in the way I'm talking about. Especially when they are still children. I feel strongly about that. Not sure where that leaves me. I suppose, yes, I could work on my friendships some and maybe even work more on it with my DH. As I said, he's a good man, but emotionally he's not very available and I just don't know that he has the capacity for what I'm looking for.[/quote]
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