Reply to sister not pulling weight during family weekends -- what would you do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't agree with those who say to suck it up, because it's all the time and there's *no* reciprocity.  It doesn't benefit her, either, if she prefers to have your help and you don't go when she's there.

On the other hand, I can see why this is so touchy - she has you trained to worry about her flipping out.  If you're avoiding her anyway, what do you have to lose if there's some conflict?

Do you otherwise like your sister and want to spend time with her?  How about her kids?  Does she like you?  Is there anything she does well that could make up for her other goldbricking?  Is it possible that she's assuming you enjoy having the kids around and it's no imposition?

[b]Do you trust her with your kids?  Can you just start making occasional demands, as in - you fed them breakfast, and now you're going out and will be back in a couple of hours, and just assume she will step up the way you did?[/b][/quote]

Op again. If I left her with my kids, she would probably ignore them as she does her own. Her 7 year old is quite demanding of attention, I think, because he doesn't get much from his mom.

To be clear, I don't think I would mind taking care of her kids so much if she asked or acknowledged that I was doing it. But instead she just parks herself on the couch with the newspaper and leaves her kids to fend themselves for meals/entertainment/butt wiping. (Yes, the 7 yo sometimes asks for help...)[/quote]

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