Reply to sister not pulling weight during family weekends -- what would you do?

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[quote=Anonymous]I get where you are coming from OP. It's annoying when you are on vacation and feel pressured to entertain someone else's kids when, for the 15 or so minutes you might have some downtime, you'd much rather be zoning out drinking a coffee on the porch or something. We do family trips with my in-laws (grandparents and husband's sister's family) and my husband sister and BIL definitely take advantage of the fact that there are other grown ups around to take lots of time for themselves. It's not a big deal, because it's only an occasional thing, but I do find it a bit annoying.

You do need to suck it up a bit and be nice to your niece and nephew, which it sounds like you are already doing. However, I think setting some firm boundaries would help a lot here -- if only for your own sanity. So, resign yourself to the fact that you'll be making breakfast for her kids as well as your own, and let go of any resentment about that. But don't be shy about telling your nephew "I"ll read this book with you for 5 minutes, but then I need my grownup time/ time with my kids, so I'll turn on the TV for you if you want, but if you need anything, you'll need to find your mom." And then stick with it, without feeling guilty. Your niece and nephew are getting old enough that they shouldn't need constant adult attention, and while it's important that you are a nice loving aunt, there's absolutely no reason you need to sacrifice your entire vacation to being their mother.

In my own family, one of my sisters is the "nice" aunt, who will drop everything to play a game with a niece or nephew. The kids are all wild for her, which is great, but it means that she is constantly badgered for attention by them when we're all together. I think of myself as a fun aunt, and am well-liked by the kids, but don't feel the same guilt as she does in saying "not right now" or "let's find your mom or dad." I've found that that approach serves me pretty well.[/quote]

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