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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a high-performing, unmedicated ADHD woman, I can tell you that I was attracted to DH in part because of his meticulous spreadsheets, color-coded closet, and planning skills. He's probably borderline OCD in the same ways.  How self-aware is your spouse?  I have learned to live with checklists I am a minimalist, so everything has a spot.  I have air tags on most things. I get help with calendaring things at work.  I don't hire anyone with ADHD themselves, certainly not my nanny.  Mine has very strong executive functioning skills.  One kid is doing fine with medication and sports.  The other one is closer to your kids' ages and may not need medication.  That one also gets lots of sports, and I teach reading and math at home as I don't think much of what is taught as school sinks in. [/quote]

This is very helpful thank you. DH is very, very functioning which is part of why he is untreated. He thinks medication would alter his abilities. I'm not necessarily pushing for medication, just therapy or coaching to help him support me at home. Stuff like losing things constantly, forgetting minutia about the kids/house etc.

We didn't know our nanny had ADHD when we hired her, about four months in when we tried to talk with her about her performance she let us know she is ADHD/ASD and partially deaf. She is bonded to our kids though and we had just had a baby so we decided to stick with it and it's been about 18 months. We've mutually decided she needs a better fit and will be leaving after the summer. [/quote]

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