Reply to Family Entitlement and How to Deal with It?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We do say no. We get guilt trips. I guess my question is why don't they see the disconnect between their asks and their own contribution. Our parents were uninvolved grandparents and it was fine, now suddenly when kids are teens they woke up or something. I don't want to say that hey, my kids don't want to come for a visit because you didn't spend time with them when they were little, so they barely know you!  Should be obvious.  [/quote]
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They’ve run out of people around them and they are selfish. They don’t see the disconnect because they are self centered. [/b]

For little kids, they might have been expected to do something on the little kids level. For teens, they see free labor. Yard work, clean the garage, gutters, lift furniture and heavy stuff all for free! Doesn’t matter that they have plenty of money, if they can get a freebie off the teens it’s score! [/quote]
Back when the kids were little, they had their own lives and didnt GAF about cultivating a relationship. Now they are old, lonely and have pissed off everyone else, they come crawling back.

Hold strong! Dont give in to guilt trips. If its over the phone, you hang up. If its over text, leave it on read, or "Ok." No need to engage with them.  [/quote]

I relate so much to this. We moved to this area for my husband's job and my mother spelled out her boundaries. I had no intention of expecting her to babysit or cater to us, but she had an over the top list of boundaries. We were also the 2nd choice for any major holidays, but she wanted us available if plan A fell through. Let's just say, we were happy to have boundaries because her behavior was exhausting. Now, OMG is she entitled. She has also rewritten history to make herself a saint and she acts like a queen even sometimes adopted this uppity way of speaking like a person playing a queen who isn't very good at acting. She did a little growing up, etc, but it was much more rare. She expects holidays to revolve around her and you need to express undying gratitude as much as possible. Once the entitlement tantrums set in we had to distance. Neurologist felt it was just the worsening of her already la-ti-dah personality, but no signs of dementia. He did give her meds and that's another post.[/quote]

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