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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You mean go and show up without telling him you’re coming? No, I wouldn’t do that. You need to communicate that you are there for him, you know he can handle the pressure of finals, but if he wants you to come to him to take him out for a meal, you’re happy to do so.

But if you panic, you’re sending him the message that this is a huge deal, that he clearly cant handle tough situations. That crying is worth needing rescue. Be there for him; offer support, but don’t rush to rescue unless he actually talks about suicide or suicidal ideation or displays other mental health issues. Being stressed out and crying is not a mental health crisis.[/quote]

A lot of kids, including my own, wouldn’t want to trouble their parents by having them come. This isn’t about panic, this is “caretaking of someone you love.” My mom had breast cancer when I was a teen and my husband’s dad died when he was a teen. This has impacted our parenting. If you can, why would you miss the opportunity to go out to dinner with your son and give them a hug? It may be something he remembers for the rest of his life.[/quote]

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