Reply to Fiancé wants a church wedding

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[quote=Anonymous]“Catholic” as it refers to the Church is a proper noun and hence needs to be capitalized.

That out of the way, PP’s are correct that even the most happy-friendly Father Marryin’ Sam is unlikely to be willing just to have a non-religious (non-Catholic?  non-Baptized? non-Christian?) and a non-practicing (non-confirmed?) Catholic stop in of a Saturday for a nice ceremony.

Catholic marriage is a sacrament. It requires preparation.  It requires that the parties be “suitably disposed” (in an objective state of grace, free of prior bond, knowingly and willingly accepting the obligations of a union that is permanent, exclusive and open to the possibility of offspring).  It may, if one party is not Catholic, require a dispensation (“permission from a higher-up, e.g., the bishop).  Unless it is to take place at the residential Parish of the Catholic party another dispensation is required for that.

PP’s are correct that Confirmation is not technically required for Matrimony, but the priest doing the marriage will be interested in knowing why the person is not confirmed already or interested in becoming so. Most parishes require at least a six month lead time, with multiple preparation meetings and typically a preparation course (often called “Pre Cana).  At the end of the day, the priest will want to understand why two people, one of whom has no connection to the Church and the other of whom seems to have no more than a cultural/family-pleasing connection, want a Catholic wedding and what they hope to gain by that, beyond a pretty ceremony.

None of this is insurmountable, but you’d have to want it, and be willing to do what was required. Sadly, situations like this all too often result in people blaming the Church for being mean, close-minded or whatever. But Catholic rituals have meaning, they’re not just a show.

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