Reply to Recently widowed, grieving spouse support advice

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m so sorry OP. 
My DH died last year after a long illness.
I have 3 teenagers. Each of them deals with grief in different ways. Only one (the oldest) sees a mental health counselor regularly. I saw one when he was first diagnosed for a few months but I didn’t find it helpful.
There are no rules here- each person deals with it differently and that’s ok. I found with children especially they didn’t verbalize that they were upset about their dad but it would come out in different ways. For instance, irrational anger at things like not having snacks in the house. It wasn’t about the snacks. I checked in with my mom, teachers and other parents about their observations about my  kids because my mom pointed out they did not want to add to my grief. Family dinner and weekend breakfasts are important. My kids needed the structure and comfort. They needed reassurance, as much as I could give it, that I’m not going anywhere. I encouraged them to be with friends as much as possible. Sleepovers at home with pancakes in the morning were a big hit. 
It’s important to me that my children have happy lives. Every day counts. Don’t wait for the big vacation. Go out for ice cream tonight.
Most people will bend over backward to help you. Some will say they will then they won’t. Some people will avoid you.  Roll with it. Keep your sense of humor.
It’s going to be ok OP. Despite the awfulness and grief it’s ok to have happy times now too. Your children deserve it. 
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