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[quote=Anonymous]Apologies for the late reply, and before I say anything else... Thank you for the kind words and advice. Also thank you for sharing your experiences as well, I do appreciate it.

Ill take a look at "Wintering" book, thank you

My general doctors have been amazing and have checked up on me a few times personally. I feel i'm fortunate in that respect. We are starting therapy, but therapists are in demand, so it's taking a little bit to get setup. We got recommendations for a few groups, and some like Wendt bubbled to the top in addition to some 1-1 grief therapists. Caring Matters was also recommended, thank you for mentioning that as well. I'm very skeptical of group support groups but should suspend my disbelief and try it.

The kids friends' parents have been great.. we've known many for over 14 years since the kids were in diapers together. I main issue I have (which is likely a me issue), at what point am I going to over-ask for help.... I mean, they have families and lives, and before this happened, i knew they were busy, so I don't want to impose, and also want to understand how to be self-sufficient and work through the changes we may need to do as a family. Not rushing to make any changes as that may shock the kids but need to know and not pass my welcome with friends.

The family weekly check in a great idea. I started a dinner routine with the kids... come home from school, ok run away to do homework or ger personal time, but then come for dinner - no devices, maybe on the patio, talk, and then go for a walk.... and after... they run away, but then come back down to hang out before going to bed... alternating family vs personal time to not make them feel they have to hang out with only dad now. So far seems to be working and they share ok.  I haven't done a weekly checking in, will try that. Esp. with mothers day coming up.

I have also started looking at online delivery for food and groceries - good recommendation, my sister mentioned that too.....  but its honestly.... unimpressed for the options i need. Giant does delivery and pick up so is easy. Trader Joes was a big part of our lives and none of the apps, or perhaps, trader joes does not allow shoppers, so im doing that once in a while. Honestly its nice to do that, i take the kids, and i get our more. Costco is its own beast.... we have a membership but the amount of time it takes... and no one delivers Costco...  Someone recommended Shipt...while they do support costco not for my location

Thanks for the suggestion on developing autonomy with the kids, the older child (14 girl) is starting to do that, the younger (12 boy) is still whimsical but also very thoughtful and responsible... but not in a grocery/chores kind of way. More like gets me food cause i know likely missed the meal way.

Thanks for the tip on https://dcwidow.com/, will take a look.

Appreciate the memory box suggestion. My younger kid wants to make a memorial... but in practice its hard for them to get started ... memory box seems like a easier thing to have them start.

Leaving home or being busy is my self-defense mechanism, but i think it perhaps makes me not do my responsibilities.... I find any excuse to leave the house since being home, everything reminds me of my wife and it gets hard, esp. when kids doing their thing which they should , and im by myself.

Perhaps the trickiest bit is the last one... loneliness without feeling like I have to distract myself constantly. And, sleep. Thats a mess but improving.

Thank so much to everyone for sharing, appreciate it a lot[/quote]

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