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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Allow yourself to trust. They are the professionals. They will tell you the appropriate level of care. You do not know. It's not your profession. Do the work, meaning spend the time with staff. Through personal connections you will trust what they say.[/quote]

[b]Trust no one. “They” are the “experts” at separating people from their money, disavowing responsibility, demanding babysitters to do what the staff should, and on and on. [/b]

The whole “memory care” monicker is a cynical misdirection.

All that said, tour the place(s).  Not just what they want to highlight, and especially not the visually impressive stuff like a big staircase that nobody, and least of all your loved one, will ever use.

Look (and smell) for whether the place is clean. Look for hazards. Carpets can be filthy and dangerous. What about fall risks?  Some places put the mattress on the floor. That can be good or bad. What do the bath/shower facilities look like.

Be extremely direct in your questioning. How often do they change diapers?  If somebody needs a new one five minutes later is that going to get noticed and taken care of or will they wait for the next scheduled round?

Look at and watch the staff, especially from a distance. Caring is everything. I’ve seen people front flipped out of their wheelchair by staff in a hurry.

Try to see the place at off hours.

What do the residents look like?  Over medicated?  Restrained?  Protected from each other?  Are people getting the eating help they need?  Are they getting human contact or just screen time?  Are they getting moved around, repositioned, stimulated.

Are more-able people being maintained or allowed to slide?

Your best ally will be a person with experience, ideally a caretaker or if not a person who has been through it all.[/quote]

So this. [/quote]

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