Reply to Exhausted due to my husband's micromanagement

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you have my sympathies. What you describe is a pathology. It is definitely NOT normal. Your reaction is normal -- the type of behavior you describe would drive anyone to the brink of sanity. Your DH is already over the edge -- he is sick and needs help.

I think medication would help him if he'd agree to go to counseling. Find a psychiatrist or psychopharmacologist to prescribe medication for him, along with counseling. You cannot allow this situation to continue. Your screaming is a cry for help. His behavior is extremely abusive, you just can't see it (and he won't let you) because you're the one screaming, not he, so he appears to be the calm, "rational" one. He's irrational, unreasonable, and probably diagnosable. I think OCD is just the start. Anxiety meds, anti-depressants and therapy may help him (and you). You may need counseling to get yourself out of this pattern you have created with him. You have to step back and become calm. Ignoring him doesn't work. You have to LEAVE THE HOUSE or at least the room when he starts in. Zero tolerance, and change your behavior permanently. Do not throw out any of your gifts, wear the dress he can't stand, leave the dirty pots in the sink for a time (clean them in the morning), cut the bread wherever you want to (as long as it's not in the middle of your bed), and tell him that you do not agree to any of his "rules". It's your house too, and any rules must be mutually agreed upon. He cannot impose rules on you, or bully you into accepting them.

I truly think medication and counseling will help your DH, OP. He has a problem, and it can be helped if he's agreeable. If you tell him you're going to leave the marriage, he may agree to counseling/meds. I would not be able to tolerate such a situation for even a second, OP. It sounds like pure, unadulterated HELL. Get help, OP, and NOW. And find some support from friends/family. You will need strength, and you're obviously not getting it from your DH. Good luck to you. [/quote]

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