Reply to What do you dream about in terms of a life for yourself?

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Reply to "What do you dream about in terms of a life for yourself?"

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[quote=Anonymous]To 11:54, I think some of the value of the Greene approach is breaking down and prioritizing issues and understanding what the problem is and how to build collaborative solutions. As an example, a kid who won’t brush their teeth - is it because they don’t like the taste of the paste, or it hurts their gums, or they find it boring, or they hate getting out of bed to do it? Those are all different problems that need different solutions (change the paste! Change the brush! Make things a game! Brush before getting ready for bed!), but saying “no screen time unless you brush!” doesn’t fix the problem that was getting in their way to start with.

Another piece for us was just building our relationship back with our kid, and respecting autistic burnout. An example. We took a trip before Covid, and it was awful.  Our kid shut down at museums, would physically refuse to go eat, was scary. We just took a big vacation this time, and the kid was a delight. We all understood that he wasn’t going to do all the activities, but would do a thing in the morning and then go back to the hotel to rest and recharge (yes, with screens, which are a familiar thing that help in the new environment and what felt like a scary set of new things). And then he would happily come out to dinner. But we did a lot of talking about what would work what wouldn’t and how we didn’t expect him to be able to do all the activities. He was great, and I’m so proud of him.

He had periods where it was such a struggle to get him to shower. It was embarrassing and awful. But by reducing demands he was able to have more internal resources to do stuff like hygiene again. It is not a problem anymore.

There is so much here, and too much to write, but the short version is that the traditional model wasn’t working.  And we needed something else.

I am a little reluctant to share the nonclinician in this forum - you want to create a burner email I can reach out to? Or is there another way? [/quote]

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