Reply to Share your wisdom on parenting adolescents

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[quote=Anonymous]My oldest is 14 and my youngest is 10 so I’m right there with you but as a high school teacher I can tell you the insights I’ve picked up over the years that I plan to keep in mind with my kids as they hit this phase:

Active parenting does not stop just because they’re big. You have to talk to them, spend time with them, know what’s going on in their lives.

Set boundaries and consequences and uphold them: this is how you model a loving, healthy relationship between adults and teens. If you don’t, they seek out unhealthy versions of those relationships or resent adults who hold appropriate boundaries with them.

Sometimes they’re irrational and that’s ok, it’s their age. We can let them be irrational sometimes because they just have to feel their feelings.

Teach them (explicitly) hygiene stuff that you might assume they know but don’t. Same with sex and relationships.

They do not hate you. They talk with so much love about their parents in spaces when you won’t hear it, but we do. They love you and just want your positive attention and to be proud of them.

there’s more to raising well rounded kids than all A’s in AP classes. A grade you don’t love won’t be the end of the world. The academic pressure on them can be too intense. Some of my students with the worse grades are the most intelligent, creative, funny, interesting people. I believe they will all find their way even if they’re not getting a 4.0.

Don’t solve every problem for them. They are capable of self advocating IF you teach them.

Speak highly of them to others when they can hear you. Your opinion means everything to them.

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