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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Agree with "support her decisions when she makes them"!!!

As an indecisive person, it's gotten worse when my spouse tells me to choose and then I do and then they criticize my choice. So I ask if we can make certain specific decisions together. "No, it doesn't really matter to me."

But then I have to hear all the problems with my choice. One that they opted out of! It's paralyzing because I feel like I can't win and the next decision takes twice as long because I'm trying to please these amorphous unspoken expectations. 
 
Either participate in the decision making or butt out.[/quote]

What do you think made you this way?[/quote]

Perfectionism, being hard on myself when I don't get things "right." I suppose anxiety is behind that since the pressure is internal. I can trace anxiety up my family tree. Plus growing up poor, so decisions involving spending money come with extra baggage, including guilt over spending money on things that aren't absolutely necessary and having had so many years where if I made a poor spending decision I would just be stuck with whatever I chose since there wasn't money for a second purchase. Like shoes, we had to buy them a little big with room to grow into them, and if I picked a pair that ended up being uncomfortable, I was just out of luck for the next year plus. I can imagine that with lots of money I would not have even thought twice about shoes. Without extra money, each decision was a big deal.[/quote]

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