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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you have suggestions for ways (in hindsight/based on real life experience) that you wish you had better managed the divorce process or divorce attorney?

The attorney works for you and yet they are the expert. With this said, how might you have been smarter and more savvy during your divorce process with a retained attorney?  How might you have managed the attorney rather than them managing you--in terms of the ways things were done, hours and money spent?

Any actual divorce attorney's who have suggestions?

I have a friend who borrowed and spent $100,000 during their divorce (they were the defendant) only to end the process no further ahead than if they had just signed the initial documents presented by their ex.

TIA

[/quote]

The story of your friend is precisely why I advise people not to use attorneys except to review documents done in mediation and file for the divorce, but do not use them from the beginning because usually people will end up fighting and get the same amount at the end then if they had just agreed upfront. Agreed to 50-50 of everything everything and call it a day. [/quote]

Do you recommend using a mediator that specializes in divorce or just any mediator? The problem is that you do need to have some idea of what you need to negotiate over, how to do complicated things like selling or buying out property.

We worked with two “collaborative divorce” mediators. One was quite good at helping us come to some agreed upon rules for conversation, and guiding us about the decisions that needed to be made. The other was AWFUL and tried to question the custody agreement we had already come up with ourselves, drafted a piece of sh*t document that looked nothing like an agreement, and got all offended when I wanted to power through all of the decision points after my ex suddenly announced he was moving out. I guess she expected more discussion of feelings when I just wanted to do the deal. [/quote]

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