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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents wanted to split things 50/50 between me & my brother. I'm the responsible one; my brother has struggled with mental and physical health problems his entire life.

My parents' will puts my brother's half (including the house he lives in) of the inheritance into a trust. To save fees, I will be the trustee, but only agreed to this role so long as my parents agreed to initiate financial limits now, while they are still alive. So my brother currently gets a regular allowance and needs to live within that money. I did not want to be the one to have to set that up (prior to this, my parents just gave him a cc and covered all of his costs).

But of course, you can't plan for everything. All went well for the first few years. Since then, my brother got married and now lives with a wife and her two adult kids from a previous marriage + one grandchild + her mother : none of whom work and all are trying to live on the allowance my parents give to my brother. It's a miserable nightmare.

I've just accepted the fact that all I will be able to do is honor my pledge to keep the trust solvent for as long as possible and mete out the allowance, understanding that this burgeoning family's needs will quickly outstrip whatever funds are there, and they will resent me and complain about my stinginess.

Initially, I had thought to secretly keep my half of my parents' estate in reserve to help my brother out. But it's really hard to want to do that when there are 5 adults who refuse to lift a finger to help themselves. It's a mess and will only get messier. Once my parents pass, I am seriously inclined to step down as trustee and just hire the job out. But those management fees will drain the trust even faster...[/quote]

This. OP should assume this will happen.  Please be kind to both children and do not put your parenting burdens on one child.

To above poster, I am sorry it is hard and for my own mental health I would already step down and would do while parents alive so they and sibling can see what will be in place when parents gone and the 5 living off allowance already know not to come to me. [/quote]

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