Reply to Amazing DD has become a monster at age 13

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[quote=Anonymous]She's always been very close to me, a real 'mommy's girl,' but just after turning 13, she started turning into a horrendous, manipulative, nasty, spoiled brat. I keep wondering where my wonderful DD went. Sometimes she reappears, but more often she's sullen, angry, screaming at me (in particular) for no apparent reason. Yes, yes, I know, I know, she's at that age, she needs to separate from me, blah blah blah, but does it have to be this way? So painful, so difficult?

Is there anything I can do to get through this? Any books that have helped? I really miss my sweet, communicative daughter. We used to have fun cooking, shopping, going places together and just chatting, and now almost all of our conversations involve her criticizing me for one thing or another. Today she told me I am "so incredibly naive" for some reason I can't remember. I'm also fat, ugly, wear dowdy clothes, have food in my teeth, bad breath, weird hair, etc. etc. And I'm so stupid and I ruin everything. The only time she's nice to me is when she wants me to do something for her: buy her something, take her shopping, take her to a friend's house, let her go somewhere. The rest of the time she's just mean.

Today I made an effort to tell her quite clearly that she's nothing like me ("I know, I figured that out a long time ago!" she said) so she won't feel she has to insult me constantly to differentiate herself from me.

I know it's a phase, but it's difficult to take, and makes life so unpleasant for our entire family. The other children (all male) are so much easier by comparison. I know all 13 year old girls are NOT like this. Does anyone have any tips for me, other than to not engage and wait it out? [/quote]

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