Reply to Competitive academics - what to tell the smart, hard-working kid who isn't "the best"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You described our 8th grade DD and her situation exactly. I try to tie her worth to her character. To tell her that she matters to our family. To protect her self-esteem. But it's a losing battle. I understand, OP! 
I have another, older DD with dyslexia and it always helped to have an outside-of-school interest where she excelled. Different situation, but I'm thinking about this as 8th grader goes off to high school. I want her to feel confident and successful at something outside of school, too. 
[/quote]

OP here and yes, I commiserate. DD had an outside interest for many years that I think balanced things out (ballet) but this year she switched from a pre-professional program (because she does not actually want to pursue it professionally) to just regular adult classes, and while I think this was the right choice for her, I do think she feels like she lost some "specialness" with it. High school has just had a lot of focus on being a stand out and I think she's having a little identity crisis around that -- if she's not "the best" at something, what is she? I know she's a wonderful, balanced person with great character, but I think right now it feels like that doesn't matter or doesn't count within the social/academic hierarchies at school.[/quote]

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