Reply to School Has Broken His Spirit and Crushed His Soul, what to do now?

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Reply to "School Has Broken His Spirit and Crushed His Soul, what to do now?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Just looking for ideas of what to do. DS is 12 and diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, Anxiety and now has growing signs of depression. We've been limping along with an IEP since 1st grade and at around 3rd/4th grade there were a few glimmers of improvement, but now in 6th grade things have gone from bad to worse and he is not making progress towards *any* of his goals. Perhaps the IEP team is finally ready to consider placements. We do have an advocate. He loathes school, and is now in full shutdown mode. He goes to school but does not do any of the work, does not even take his books to class or bring his backpack home. Worse, he says he does not want us to help and does not want school to get better, in fact he wants it to get worse, so that as an adult in the future he'll be able to decry school as something that tried to ruin his life, that he became successful in spite of, not because of. It seems that this narrative is all he's got right now. My belief is that he has severe inattentive ADHD with learning disabilities. I am not sure that Autism Resource Services is right for him, as I would say he is pretty high-functioning if you take away the misery and pressure of school. He is in the process of undergoing another round of assessments through the school, but I'm pretty sure he's not going to cooperate with doing them. We just don't know what to do. I've wondered about withdrawing him, at least temporarily, for his mental health. If we get placement consideration, where would be a good place to try for, and what if he's not even accepted? I've read about Fairhaven, but it scares me a little reading here about bullying and non-supervision. Also have discovered that online schools for special needs schools exist, but worry about the lack of social interaction. Without school, he is a great kid, very funny, super observant and smart, cooperative at home, helps around the house when asked, loves to talk to us, wants to have friends, and we love him to no end. We are desperate to find a place where he can have a full reset. Unfortunately it feels like there will be a lot of layers of resentment and obstinance to peel back before he'll be able to start moving forward. We are in Montgomery County. Thank you for any ideas. [/quote]

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