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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Sigh, yes, I know those things are going to be a major risk... I guess I'm hoping maybe his maturity and our own awareness will help, but I know this is a bit of a pipe dream.

Either way, he has pretty much no high school options like his current school, so he will need to move to a somewhat larger and mainstream school in 9th regardless. I worry he won't be ready at all socially or academically if he stays where he is now. His academic progress has pretty much stagnated there, and he's a very smart kid. It is also a very small environment, and he would thrive with opportunities to meet kids and do school-sponsored activities (which the school doesn't offer now).

He's a good kid but needs people to take his mistakes lightly. [b]He's very sensitive to judgment, but instead of changing when he notices people are judging his (sometimes absurd and inappropriate behavior), he can get defensive and go into blame mode.[/b] I could see this being a risk in either situation, although he and we have also done a lot of work on coping skills over the past few years. On the other hand, he is also feeling like it's unfair that he can't be in a more maintenance environment because he sees neighborhood kids he knows going to bigger schools with more science and math and music and sports options, and I could see his getting angrier from that, too.[/quote]

The bolded about emotions really rings true for my ADHD family members and there is a lot written about how emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitive dysphoria are key parts of ADHD.  In our family medication has been tremendously helpful for this - some take zoloft, some take strattera.  It makes responding appropriately to criticism (whether constructive or not), much easier. (Other benefits as well).

I disagree with others that say public school is better as a blanket statement. It is a very fact-specific analysis. I have seen some terrible, discriminatory teachers, and I have seen the same at privates. It will happen everywhere. Sadly.  I think it's better to enter a new school in MS and get stabilized rather than 9th grade when grades are important. [/quote]

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