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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "Sports and lack of aggressiveness"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First grade! FIRST GRADE! [/quote] Agree. OP, sports at this age are about (1) having fun, (2) learning to be part of a team, (3) learning to enjoy moving their bodies and doing something athletic, to build up those habits, and then AFTER all that, they are about (4) becoming good at a sport. Some kids who play sports at this age will go on to get serious about those sports, play on club or travel teams, play in high school. Some. A minority, really. The ones who will do this are not always the ones who are "the best" at this age. They may be the ones who are the most passionate, who enjoy it the most, or (as is often the case in the DMV) have parents who push them the hardest. Actual skills are something kids can be coached into and get with practice, but passion or love of the sport cannot be externally trained into a kid. The outcomes of sporting events at this age DO NOT MATTER AT ALL. They don't matter for anything. They will not impact your kids ability to make future teams, their overall development, nothing. So being less aggressive at this age if totally fine, especially if he's still enjoying playing. He might develop more aggression later if he keeps playing and becomes more competitive (and at some point, event outcomes DO start to matter, and that's when you start to see some kids turn it on and develop more competitive instinct). Or he might be one of the many kids who likes these sports now but decides later he doesn't like it enough to pursue it. He might also switch to a sport that starts up later in age, like track or cross country (especially if he's fast and likes to run), wrestling, etc. Also if he's an overall good athlete, he could pick up a sport like swimming or tennis a little older and still be very competitive if he took to it. Or he might not be that sporty generally, he might be the kind of kid who plays rec sports or does non-competitive sports like rock climbing or hiking. I actually worry a bit about the kids who are intensely aggressive at age 6 or 7. Often it reflects a lack of perspective and actually bodes poorly for a long athletic career. To compete in most sports at a high level, you need to be able to shake off losses. Ever seen a professional baseball player after a loss? They say things like "it's one game, we'll come back tomorrow and start over." Or "you can't dwell on the mistakes -- learn what you can and move on." Yes they are deeply competitive people who have a lot of competitive drive. But they are also people who don't pin their entire self esteem on a single at bat or play. That's healthy. Kids who are very aggressive at this age may be over-invested in being the star, scoring the winning play, besting a rival, etc. That's not a healthy attitude and is likely to lead a kid to flame out early. It's also the kind of attitude that can make a kid a liability on a team. You do need aggression to play competitive sports, but too much of it, especially when not matched by skill, is a problem.[/quote]
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