Reply to Why do friends turn on each other?

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[quote=Anonymous]Sometimes it’s just insecurity especially around the pecking order of popularity. If new friends are more popular, they feel like they have to publicly reject their old not as popular friends or they lose their newfound but not secure place with new friends. This is most common in middle school - high schoolers aren’t as likely to do this unless the ex friend is actively disliked by others and they can’t be associated with them. Sometimes bc the person in question has behaved in a shady way (uses slurs etc) so it’s  understandable.

But just as often….there are things that parents can’t see about their child.

My 8th grader has a “best friend” that she’s been pulling away from. She hasn’t been mean bc that’s not her way but many kids in her position would. The other girl is always mad at my daughter over tiny things. She’s also pretty controlling of her friends and also doesn’t like most other kids. My daughter couldn’t make friends outside their small circle for all of middle school bc this friend would get jealous and say negative things about them , and she finally had to create space. This girls mom is my friend and she reports that her daughter says mine is “mean” to her. But she has no issues with any of her other friends.

Also sometimes more immature kids will say other kids are mean to them, and it’s because these kids are annoying to others and don’t have boundaries or take social cues. So something being nice and trying to fade away doesn’t work. 
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