Reply to Spouse blaming me for not finding a new job yet

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[quote=Anonymous]I was told two months ago that my job will be ending at the end of June. They're restructuring and my position is getting folded into someone else's role. I've been job hunting since then and have applied for over 20 jobs. It's been incredibly stressful for me and for our marriage.

At first, my spouse was incredibly supportive while I cried and while I thought about what my next career move would be, while I spent nights and weekends working on my cover letter, updating my resume, and applying for jobs. As the months have dragged on with minimal interviews (I've only had two and one of them is something I'm overqualified for), he's become increasingly anxious (as have I) about why I'm not getting more interviews. He is someone who needs a reason for everything and, obviously, when you're not even getting interviews, you don't have contacts to be able to know why.

[i]I've[/i] been chalking it up to a slow economy. The people I've talked to who hire in fields like mine have all told me that their companies/fields have stopped hiring, and that when they get applicants, they're getting twice as many as they did a year ago and all with lots of qualifications. I'm coming from a sort of niche sub-field with 10+ years of work experience in non-profits, but I suspect my very specific sub-field and the non-profit world are hampering me a little bit as I apply for private and government positions against people who have private and government experience. My sub-field has a lot of crossover skills in programming, development, and events, and I'm definitely qualified for the jobs I've been applying for.

My husband is chalking it up to things like "you need to be applying for more jobs" or "maybe it's because your Twitter account is public" (this was a good point and I hid it) or "you should have looked for a job four years ago when your job started to get bad" (he's right about this too, but my job paid well for my field and I kept thinking it would get back to good after the pandemic, but it never did). I feel like he's looking for someone to blame for the situation and since it's happening to me, it's all my fault. And he's partially right. There have been lots of signs that my job was toxic and I just kept thinking that I could make it better by just working harder. But I feel that his [i]anger [/i] at me is mostly misdirected and I don't know what to do about it.

Thanks for letting me vent. Any advice would be appreciated.[/quote]

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