Reply to Do many/most people go through marital problems in their forties and fifties?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are in our late forties and it seems like there have been so many divorces and separations. The people who are married seem like they are unhappily married. The friends I am close enough to ALL have issues, going through counseling, can’t wait for kids to be out of the house so they can finally get divorced, etc.

What happened to happily ever after?

It is sad that my not so great marriage seems to be one of the better marriages. We have kids who are doing well, high income, good health. DH annoys me most days and I’m not very attracted to him. I still think he is a good guy. We look pretty good for our ages. The things that annoy me are little things that still drive me crazy but nothing to divorce over.[/quote]

I think it really depends on what kind of marriage you have. The marriage you have, for example, would not work for me. It sounds like a business arrangement. He annoys you most days, you don't like him, and you're not attracted to him, but your family is doing economically well and successfully raising children. That's the goal of a lot of marriages, and it sounds like it's working for you in that you have correctly put your complaints in perspective and recognize that for you, it's nothing to divorce over. Other people might not feel that way. Maybe that's what's going on with your friends.

As for the question of divorce, it was my experience that there was a wave of divorces when the kids were little but not babies (3-5) and then another one when the kids were older. It seems to follow stages in life when other priorities (kids, jobs, dying parents) were more urgent and then after those things ease up, the weaknesses in the marriage become a lot more obvious.[/quote]

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