Reply to Do many/most people go through marital problems in their forties and fifties?

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Reply to "Do many/most people go through marital problems in their forties and fifties?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I don't know a single couple who hasn't had issues at that age. I feel it's entirely normal and understandable to come to mid-life, deal with perimenopause hormones and whatever men get at the same age, disruptive adolescents, aging parents, and see your professional and private hopes reframe themselves naturally. [/b]

I'd be shocked if a couple DIDN'T have problems, honestly! :-)

However none of my friends are divorced or separated, and neither are we. But I think that may be more of a cultural issue than a measure of how unserious or serious the marital problems are. My circle is American, European and Asian, with Catholic roots or some other type of conservative tradition shaping our understanding of life (even though none of us are regular church/pagoda/temple goers), and we all believe the institution of marriage is important.

[/quote]

This. Marriages are made up of the bond between two people, and eventually something in life is going to put stress on that bond. DH and I have been together 20 years and had a "rough patch" for a couple of years that we are just starting to come out of. It was health issues that put the pressure on us. I'm 53 and dealt with sleep deprivation from undiagnosed sleep apnea and insomnia and hot flashes from perimenopause. It hasn't been pretty. But with treatment for both, things are getting better.

But yeah, eventually something puts stress on the marriage. If not -- you probably aren't living much. (I remember when I was a young lawyer at DOJ I said to my chief "I haven't lost a single case," and he said "Then I haven't been giving you anything challenging enough." Same kind of thing. )[/quote]

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