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[quote=Anonymous]Well, we had a first that was very high needs and had a second, but it was before we understood that the high needs would never end. When we got the genetic disorder diagnosis for Kid #1 at age 3, it wasn’t even a year later when Kid #2 got a cancer diagnosis. So, it was basically bananas.

Now, more than a decade later, our oldest has profound intellectual disability. She hasn’t slept through the night in 14 years. We have to change diapers, bathe her, feed her, dress her, etc. It is exhausting. We solve many of the issues by throwing money at them. We pay for in home help 7 days a week.

Kid #2 is thriving. Frankly, I’m glad we didn’t have the actual genetic diagnosis because we probably would have passed on Kid #2, which I would regret.

But the caveat for me is that we had lots of money to deal with Kid #1. If not, it would be a total disaster. My husband also own his own business and had a lot of flexibility for appointments. He is also an incredibly patient person who doesn’t resent kid stuff generally. We also both have robust mental health. Neither of us is prone to anxiety or depression. Without money and time, this never would have worked. We would likely be divorced after screaming at each other over who had changed the most diapers over a 5-10 year period. And I say this as a couple who has never yelled at each other.

So, what I really mean to say is you really, really have to evaluate all your resources (financial, time, emotional, strength of marriage, etc). [/quote]

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