Reply to DS heartbroken he’s one of the only kids not invited to bar mitzvah

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I need advice on to support my son as he deals with feeling excluded. My son is so sweet and painfully shy so he hasn’t connected with a lot of kids in his 7th grade class. He just realized this weekend that he’s only of a handful of kids not invited to a bar mitzvah. The few friends he has are invited. The parents of the boy having the party are very wealthy and are having a famous musician perform so it’s all the kids are going to talk about. I feel so heartbroken for my son and don’t want to try to fix this for him but want him to understand we are not always invited and it happens a to everyone at some point. Any tips that have worked to help your kids overcome this? [/quote]

Agree to PPs, but also wanted to add that you should reach out the school advisor/dean/counselor to hear about how your son comes across at school. Generally, even painfully shy kids who are kind/sweet are typically not excluded. Is he brand new to his school? If not, it's worth hearing from the school about his social skills during the school day. As a formally painfully shy kid myself, we can sometimes come across as aloof or rude. He could be putting something out there that is rubbing people the wrong way. If this is the case, helping him see how behaviors can get in the way of friendship development could be a great step for him.[/quote]

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