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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't buy in to this bs.  Block sister A on FB.  Send her an email "if you change your mind, I am here for you".  After that ignore any dramatic communications from her.  Do not engage with her again until she is prepared to act like a grown up.  You don't disown people over freaking wedding dates and FB posts.  and frankly if she's an over dramatic drunk then she doesn't belong around your 6 month old.   Your son will be fine without her.  Really you need to disconnect from  your childhood feelings of responsibility for your sibling and focus on your life, your children, and only having people around who are healthy influences and contribute positively to your life.

What sister A chooses to do from here is not your responsibility.  [/quote]

While I can understand where this poster is coming from, this sounds a lot to me like "just look out for number one".  Honestly, if everyone only engaged with their family members when they behaved in a mature, logical and responsible manner, most of us would never speak to our families.  And frankly, "If you change your mind, I'm here for you" sends her the message that a) you don't understand her at all and/or b) don't really care whether she is misunderstanding/ overreacting/misunderstood/needs help gaining perspective.

Yes, I get that as adults, we are all responsible for our own lives.  But this "I'm only going to keep people in my life who have something to offer and aren't a drain and I will disengage from people who are inconvenient or annoying or are a nuisance to  me" may make sense when you are talking about boyfriends, office colleagues, seriously toxic friendships or "friends" who take advantage or abuse you and aren't really friends at all.

I don't believe it should apply to family or otherwise good friends except in cases of serious, longstanding abuse.  I am very concerned about how often I hear advice to just disengage from family or friends who, while definitely negative and needy and a real pain in the ass, also deserve and need friendship and compassion and conversations about their issues and not just be ignored.  I'm glad and grateful that my family and friends have not treated me this way when I had my less than perfect moments in life. [/quote]

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