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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do you want out of a confrontation?

Don’t do it until you know this and have consulted an attorney.

Even if you don’t want a divorce, he might.

Good luck. [/quote]

I think this is part of my problem - i don’t know what i want.  Maybe I do want a divorce. 
What I want to know is how much she means to him, and whether he still loves me.  But maybe confrontation wouldn’t get me these answers!
Re attorney - I outearn him and have some separate assets but I guess as our finances are so intertwined I should talk with an attorney to see how a split would work. [/quote]

I’m sorry, I know it’s hard. But my advice remains the same. Do not confront until you know what you want moving forward. See a therapist if you need help.  Keep documenting proof in case he eventually tries to gaslight you. Focus on your relationships with your kids, friends and other extended family.

But don’t let on that you know until you have spoken with an attorney and protected yourself.

Finally I think it’s important to accept that if you do divorce, you may or may not find another life partner. My mother married the love of her life at around your age and is very happy. But other people aren’t as lucky. [/quote]

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